This phrase, said by the lawyer representing Chad Hardy, was a rather poignant and, I think, relevant statement...

"My varied experience in the law leads me to view it as a human endeavor, with flaws and limitations that those who deal with it sometimes find frustrating, but with redeeming qualities that ultimately bend towards justice."

San Francisco

I've arrived in San Francisco for the weekend and am remembering just how much I love this city! The architecture, the steep streets, the mini-NY-feel-but-not-the-same mentality... Tomorrow I wander off to film and take photos for my new project for my Contemporary Gay & Lesbian Film and TV class and attend one of the international city hall protests which will be held at the Civic Center.

This city is one of the rare places where I feel entirely comfortable - much like USC felt when I first arrived and knew that I belonged there. I see myself belonging here at some point during my life and the prospect of that is very exciting. I will post photos in the near.

Little Tokyo Shoot

Photo for Intermediate Cinematography. Little Tokyo, Los Angeles.
2008. Robert W. Wood.

Election Week

(photo by Tom Andrews, LAist.com)

PHOTO: My friend Emily Tsakona on the fence of the Mormon Temple, assuming a posture we all know so well and which should be speaking more about this issue than the H8TE.

Last week was one of victory and upset, celebration and sadness. The first African-American President accepted the position with a speech of new vision and new hope which included a group of Americans who were simultaneously losing a fundamental right in three states. California, Florida and Arizona all banned same-sex marriage on the same day that our country "overcame" its greatest civil rights battle. I assure you, that battle is not over.

A recap of last week for me:
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On Wednesday night, November 5, I joined with my friends and allies in reaction to the passage of Proposition 8 which amends the California constitution to ban same-sex marriage. We went in solidarity to a gathering in West Hollywood. The placards with words like "victim," "h8te," and "my family" filled the air with the shouts of thousands, angry at the failure of their government to protect their fundamental liberties. As I roamed the crowd with my video camera, I watched thousands come together under the words of MLK. The looming fire hydrents which had been fitted with crowd control devices stood ready, bringing that generation and ours even closer. After the rally, we set off into the streets for a march.

As twenty unmarked police cars roared by our group with lights flashing and we watched police don riot gear, news that a sit-in was occurring at Hollywood & Highland came to us. Luckily the streets didn't turn to pandamonium, but the energy in the air was edging itself towards revolution. At Sunset and Highland, our group marched around the intersection five or six times, prompting horns and support from cars. While the night felt productive and our voices rang louder than I've heard at any pride fest, it all felt too much like a pre-election rally.
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November 6: I went with more friends and more allies to the Mormon Temple on Santa Monica Blvd. Outside it's imposing gates, at the foot of it's monolithic tower and under the watchful eye of both church elders and LAPD, five to six thousand more people congregated to reflect and protest.

Five hours later, having marched for over six miles through the streets of LA, sitting in intersections, followed by helicopters and escorted by hundreds of LAPD on motor cycles, we came back to the beginning. I cannot describe the feeling that the temple's ominous glow rising above the city, imposing itself on the lives of thousands of queer individuals, had upon me. How powerful and eye-opening was the meddling of the church in the affairs of the state and its ability to protect my CIVIL liberties... An institution I have never been associated except for the support that I show for my Mormon friends in their faith has helped to change the course of history and made my pursuit of the fundamental happiness of marriage just a little bit harder...
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I cannot help but admit that I did not do enough in the lead up to this decision. While I did get out and pass out stickers and palm cards, my biggest downfall here is not prompting more conversations with people around me. I have straight co-workers and religious friends and others close to me who I just assumed would see my side. Now, with remorse, I realize that my failure to say clearly and specifically that they were voting for my rights and my happiness may have prompted them to vote Yes.

I did not make it to the Saturday gathering in Silverlake where ten thousand of my friends and allies pursued their anger yet again... I'm exhausted and can't wait (despite the excitement of public demonstration) for the legal battles and tangibly effective changes which will show that we will not, have not, WILL NEVER, be defeated... It means so much for me to know that myself and others are fighting for something with so much passion and love. That can only be rewarded.

Is this possible at 11pm PST? Tonight. Do we have a new President? Wow.

Too Fundamental

I've never thought of myself as a person that needed to get involved in certain activist related organizations and campaigns. But then again, I haven't ever have any of my fundamental rights threatened. I've grown up with all of the freedoms and opportunities of any other American.

But this semester, I've begun to realize the changes this country is undergoing and the changes that are possible. I joined OutReach - an LGBT organization at USC the goes to local high schools and helps establish and grow Gay-Straight Alliances and give guidance to students in their college plans. I've also pledged myself to help on Election Day to talk to students on campus about the consequences of Proposition 8's effects if passed. I've stickered my friend with No on Prop8 paraphernalia. I'm talking to people about voting. It's very small, but makes me feel like I'm doing something.

As I signed my name to the list for the Prop 8 volunteering, I thought to myself "I could be another one of those people who bails at the last minute." We all deflect the tablers and walking clipboards that approach us on campus. But this is too important, too close to home and too fundamental to what we all stand for. I can't not do this. This is my pledge to spend four hours on Election Day fighting for my rights. I'll let you know how it goes...

Bare hardwood floors...

Last night I took the time to clean my room. I re-shelved, re-ordered books, swept, put into storage, took out of storage, and even cleaned the blades on my ceiling fan to avoid the inhalation of nasty dust buildup. As I pulled up the rug to shake it out, I realized something that made me feel a little better about life. Bare hardwood floors. Free of clutter and shoes that should be under the bed, I felt clean and refreshed looking at the unobstructed blades of pine. I think they're pine. For a carpenter's son, I'm pretty disappointing in that department.

As I walked into my room tonight, feeling rather exhausted and fed up with the stress of the day, the freshness of the bare hardwood made me smile. Over the past week, I've been seriously thinking about a number of prospects post-graduation. I recently found out that I will become a Canadian citizen April of 2009 because of a "Lost Citizens" law being enacted. Because of my father's citizenship, I gain automatic citizenship as a first-generation Canadian. Combining that with thoughts of graduate school (after what will probably be a year hiatus), I saw myself in eastern Canada in a Masters Program in Film Production. I've been researching that over the last few days.

For the most part, any change in scenery, whether a year or two or three from now (I will want to come back to LA at some point) holds the wonderful potential for new and exciting trouble to be had. I just know that I'm looking for something new. Something also that is purer and more organized than my time has been in LA. I've learned so much these last four years - about myself and my goals and interests. But I do not buy in the least what I've heard from "older people" that after college life is all downhill.

To compare my future possibilities and the feelings associated with them to the slats that I walk on seems a little absurd, even to me. But for some reason, removing the clutter and clearing a refreshing path to walk on can at least make you feel like you're going in an optimistic direction.

[And a shout out to the three wonderful people who commented on my last entry - you all mean a great deal to me and thanks for sharing! Keep on keepin' on!]

When am I the happiest?

In the midst of a barrage of midterms, a mighty class schedule and work out the wazzo, it always helps to take a step back and understand what balances out the stress, frustration and animosity.

The past week I had a couple of moments where I sat down on the backsteps of the house and realized that I was actually calmer and more content than I thought. Despite a chaotic day at the office or having been up til 4am writing the rest of that midterm, I felt completely calm about life. This took me completely off guard.

So I sit down and ask something that I haven't asked for a while, "When am I the happiest?":

- When I'm in my Colorado backyard with my dog
- When a spontaneous gathering of friends turns into a night to remember
- When I can afford to take someone to dinner
- Going to see a movie alone at the Vista in the middle of the day
- Sending flowers to someone without them knowing
- When I've nothing better to do than drive into the hills around LA

Those are really only just a few, but I want to hear from you.

What are three or four things that make you the happiest?

for(e)thought

"When he is talking to you for the first time, he is drunk. It might be on beer or it could be on something nonalcoholic. He could be intoxicated on the music, the room's general vibe, the wad of cash in his pocket or your gorgeous eyes. Whenever [Rob] is in an outgoing mood, he is intoxicated on something. But even when he is outgoing, a part of him is held back--you can see him thinking things he does not say. It is as if he were partly somewhere else, hearing a secret symphony that you cannot tune into. That is because he is..."

This passage comes from a rather comical (yet frighteningly accurate) astrology book, introducing the fluid Pisces. It seems fitting, so welcome and let's get drunk together!

This marks the premier of my newest pursuit and the cause of much anguish in coming to fruition - my own blog. As I finish my last year of undergraduate uni I felt it time to develop an outlet for both my personal and professional narrative. I hope that this is to be a repository for thoughts and observations--personal and professional-- that describe my current state of constantly accelerating transition and flux. I hope to translate some of these thoughts into coherent and, dare I do myself the honor, enlightening realizations about my time in Los Angeles, my future, my past, and the increasingly elusive definition of myself in the now.

Whatever direction this takes, I hope to meld discussion of my academic interests in avant-garde, experimental, queer and short film with my extra-curricular interests in still photography, martial arts, art and architecture. Blending graphic design, language, philosophy, travel, yoga, and the budding bit of queer activism I have recently undertaken, along with my adventures and discoveries in the city of Los Angeles, I will share my day-to-day and the ideas I glean from it.

And who knows, I might find an increasingly more integrated definition of myself and how I plan to take over the world...or rather, make a space for myself in it. In short, what I have to offer.

So welcome! Please follow, comment, react, revolt, and share yourself with me in the same way I hope to share part of myself with you.