I have been absent for a while, due to overwhelming obligations at the end of semester, as well as transformations occurring in life... A brief update:

I'm finished with three quarters of the finals work that I have do for the semester and will be done on Friday. Another semester down and another semester closer to the next steps and prospects.

I've recently ended an eleven month relationship. I have not been able to process the emotions due to the number of things I have going on with school.

I have also acquired a seasonal job and will be staying in Los Angeles for the holidays; the first time I won't be home for Christmas.

The last few weeks have led to thought on the following topic.

I've found that the more I'm worked, the times when the responsibilities allotted to me are increasing, I find the greatest opportunity to discover calm. This dichotomy--extreme calm amongst deep chaos--feels balanced and acceptable to me. The times when I have too much calm in my life and not enough to do, I find myself internally restless and wondering. When I'm busy beyond belief, I allow myself the opportunity to find focus, beauty and a path through the mess.

I can't say which of these I find most productive overall. When literal calm provokes internal chaos, ideas are evoked and created. Upset allows for renewal and rejuvenation.

On the other hand, when I'm calm and focused internally, I'm able to work furiously on the outside.

I feel that as of now I prefer the latter, but I can see the benefits of allowing for internal upheaval when given the opportunity of thought and reflection without external distraction.

The next few weeks will relieve me of external distraction, so I look forward to reflecting on the last few months and wondering where I will go in the next few...